


In Our Coffee Shop

by sweans



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Slow Build, Slow Burn, mute character, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 12:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11532096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweans/pseuds/sweans
Summary: Jaehee and MC had owned the small cafe for about a week, and MC was determined to play out her love fantasies as perfectly as she had imagined. And what better place to do this than in a coffee shop? It's a real life coffee shop AU! The only problem is, they're both working there at the same time!"I-I'd like one coffee please!" she said, slamming a few bills onto the counter."MC, you work here.""And I'd like a coffee, Jaehee!"





	1. Gold

It had been one week since the opening of the small cafe that both Jaehee and I ran together, and everything was perfect. It was almost romantic! Almost.

I had almost fainted when Jaehee had asked me to be her partner. I'm still not sure what she meant by that, but we became much closer anyhow. I hope that we were both hoping for the same future. I want to be more than a business partner. I want to be her partner in life. And I mean that in the gayest way possible.

It's so hard to get that message across though. If Jaehee likes me, she shows it, but it's hard to decipher if it's meant to be romantic or just friendly. She's so cautious that even if it was meant to be romantic, she'd make it as subtle as possible. I don't want to be the one to initiate! I'm shy. But I guess I'll have to.

I made this genius plan to follow the best guide possible to romance! I considered asking the RFA members, but I concluded that to be a dumb idea. None of them even haves girlfriends!

No, I'm going to follow in the footsteps of the cliche coffee shop AU! After all, we are in a cafe. It was a great plan, with some minor issues that could be resolved.

No, those didn't matter! Not when love was on the line! It was time to put my plan into action!

"I-I'd like one coffee please!" I said, slamming a few bills onto the counter.

"MC, you work here."

"And I'd like a coffee, Jaehee!"

"Alright.. What would you like?" she asked, deciding to go along with it. She had a genuine smile on her face, and it looked like she was about to laugh.

I looked at her dumbly. "A coffee?"

"MC. We have a menu."

"I just want a coffee! That's what we- I mean, you- serve here, isn't it!"

"Do you even like coffee, MC?"

I gasped, holding my hand to my chest in exaggerated motion. She was onto me. I hate coffee and I don't know anything about it. But Jaehee loves coffee and I love her so.. I need to try!

"O-of course! I just don't know all the fancy names! Just... give me the special.."

"You work here as much as I do and you should know that there's no special. It's the same everyday."

I pouted. Couldn't she at least try? Didn't she see that I was trying to flirt? I've never flirted before face-to-face, so I guess I might not be so good at it.

No, my skills were perfected.... She was just too oblivious.

"Hyyyyhnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Uh."

"Hruuuuuhnnnnnnnnn."

"MC."

"Jjjjaaaaeeeehhhhhhhhhh."

"..." She watched silently as I slumped over the counter, making weird whiny noises.

"Just give me any coffee," I said dejectedly, walking away to a seat in the corner. I slouched over the table.

This is going to take a while, I thought.

It was a few minutes, when I heard a soft voice call out. "MC!" I whipped my head around, cracking my neck painfully, to see Jaehee in all her glory, standing beside my table and holding a cute plastic cup of coffee. I smiled up at her.

"Sorry for falling asleep," I said, yawning.

"It only took a few minutes... You really should rest more.. It's not good for your health to deprive yourself of sleep. Why don't you go take a break while you drink your coffee?" She smiled at me.

"B-u-ut I want to stay w-with you!" I stuttered out. I make a lot of "wuh wuh wuh" and "buh buh buh" sounds when I stutter.

She smiled sweetly and nodded. "Why don't we go out after closing? There's a park nearby that's small and quiet. I think that's something we can look forward to together."

"Y-yeah! That's a great idea. Thank you Jaehee."

"Will you go rest now? The time will fly faster that way, and you'll get some well-needed rest."

"And leave you with all this?" I gestured to a very empty cafe.

"I think I can manage," she sighed. It wasn't exactly a good thing that the place was so empty. Sure, that gave us some free time, but she didn't have the same security and comfort that she had working with Jumin. I felt a bit of jealousy. I want to be able to support her. I don't want her to regret choosing me to be her partner. The thought brings me to tears.

I needed to find a way to make the place more popular, but I didn't know what. Maybe I'd find some inspiration at the park today. That would work out perfectly. Spending time with the woman of my dreams while coming up with a great business plan!

I blushed, suddenly becoming nervous about Jaehee possibly reading my mind. But that's impossible... right?! I can't help but think like that whenever I come across an embarrassing thought. I shooed it away from my mind, just in case there was a mind-reader among us after all.....

"You sure? We might end up being super busy and you'll need help!"

She smiled at me, but said nothing. She turned away and fixed her gaze outside the window. I heard a deep sigh come from her.

I nearly cried right there. Did she already regret being here with me? It's not like I made her but... I felt guilty. We were here together and we weren't exactly thriving yet. Yet! It's only been a week. But I still feel so awful. I feel awful that Jaehee may be feeling some doubt in her mind, and that kills me. I want us to be happy together.

A few tears leaked from my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away. I didn't want to have to explain myself if Jaehee saw me crying like a big baby.

"MC?" A look of deep concern showed on my future wife's face. (Hey, it'll happen!)

"Aaaaaaaaaeeehhhaaahhhheeehhhhh...." I slumped deeper into my chair, trying to hide my embarrassment. I don't think that was the right response.

I wanted to tell her that I was sorry for everything, but I didn't even really know what for. I felt stupid.

But I felt a lot less stupid when I felt two arms wrap around my body. Warmth flooded through me, and some extra warmth spread through my cheeks.

I fell into her, and she supported my weight. I cried into her shoulder while she hugged me tighter. We fell down onto the floor together, and stayed like that for a few minutes. I knew then that no matter what happened, it would all be okay. I had hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first fanfic I've written in such a long time, but I hope you enjoyed reading! Thank you for reading, and tell me if there's anything you'd like to see in future chapters!


	2. Oh Warm?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehee makes MC's heart go fwoosh!

"Jaehee! Jaehee! Jaehee! Jae!!!!" I bounced around her excitedly, practically hovering over her.

She sighed, giving me a small smile. I could tell she was trying hard not to laugh. I walked around her, almost in circles. I was just so excited!

"When we get back can I get another coffee?" I asked, looking up at her thoughtfully.

"Y-yeah..." She cringed a bit, remembering today's earlier scene.

-

The hug lasted for several minutes, but it seemed all too short when Jaehee finally pulled away from me, looking into my eyes. She cupped my face into her hands. My face was warm, and so her hands felt a bit cold on my cheeks. We stayed like that for a couple seconds before she smiled awkwardly, then looked away. She slowly moved her hand away from my face and looked down at her knees. I stared at her.

I slid my hand onto the table, using it to lift me up. Unfortunately, it was a bit slippery, and my hand swiped the coffee, with great force, right off the table, the hot coffee splashing all over Jaehee.

I was mortified.

"Huuhhhhh hahhhh hhnnhn!!!!!! No! I'm so sorry Jaehee!" I frantically waved my hands around, and she just winced a bit.

"It's okay, MC. It's closing time anyway. We can just dry off at the park."

"Won't it stain? Does it hurt?!"

"That hug lasted a while so... It's just a bit warm. I'm fine. And I don't mind getting my work uniform a bit dirty if it's from work."

"Are you sure? I'm so sorry.." I looked down, horribly embarrassed and guilty.

She smiled down at me, and placed her hand over mine gently. I looked up, surprise written on my face.

"Let's go before it starts to get dark."

I smiled, both in admiration, and pure love.

-

Jaehee noticed me smiling up at her with a dumb look on my face. When she did notice, she smiled back, a light blush dusting her face.

"It's a shame for good coffee to go to waste..." she sighed. I nodded my head enthusiastically. Even though I didn't particularly like coffee, it came from Jaehee, and that meant it was special.

I wanted to ask her to make me coffee that's only as sweet as she is. Not only is this to flirt with her, but I can't stand the bitter taste of coffee, and I'm way too embarrassed to ask for something cream-based. And if I asked for hot chocolate... she'd think I was a baby!

But that does sound really good right now... My mouth was watering at the thought. I love chocolate.

"Jaehee. You. Coffee. The," I sputtered, not knowing the right way to phrase my request.

"Uh. Yes, MC! I already said I was going to make you a new one. It's not a big deal. I'd do anything for you," she spoke with an oblivious smile.

Gah! That killed me! Anything? Doesn't she know what a phrase like that does to a woman?

My heart was beating a million times a second, and I could feel heat rising to my face. My stomach felt all... messy... Like there was a bunch of fluttering and poof poof going on inside! Poof poof!

I kind of liked the feeling.

"P.. poof," I whispered, clutching my chest.

Jaehee gave me a strange look, but shook it off with another gentle smile.

God, that smile could make anyone melt. If I wasn't gay before, which I definitely was, I would be now. She looked like an angel. Her golden brown eyes felt like honey and chocolate, and I just wanted to wrap my hands in her short brown hair. Her appearance said that she was sweet, and that was not deceiving. She was the sweetest person I'd ever known, and I deeply loved her with all my heart. One day, she would know that.

"I-I'd do a-anything for y-you-ou too!" I stammered, bright red in the face. She tilted her head to the side, closed her eyes, and smiled sweetly. I melted right then and there.

-

I was at home, relaxin' and chillin' and all that, when I get a text message from Yoosung. It wasn't the RFA messenger, because some things were private, and if he was texting from his phone number instead of the app, that meant it was something the other RFA members weren't supposed to see. That's not a bad thing, as we usually just use it to make jokes about the other members when we're bored, especially when I'm talking with Seven..

Although, Yoosung was very sweet, and if he was texting me, it wasn't to talk trash about Jumin.

I'd never confessed my feeling about Jaehee to Yoosung, but he understood that I wanted to get closer to her, and that was embarrassing and personal enough for there to be a private chat about it, out of the RFA's chatroom.

I looked at the message that appeared onto the screen.

Yoosung: MC! Seven and I were talking, and we came up with a great idea to help you! :D

I smiled at the message, and started typing quickly.

Me: That's great! ^^ What is it though?

Yoosung: Why don't you do your coffee shop AU plan, but backwards?

Yoosung: Reversed?

Yoosung: Swithced?

Me: Typos, yoosung

Yoosung: When Jaehee orders a coffee, make sure she orders a coffee, you'll just write your phone number on the paper with her name!

Me: are you trying to help me flirt.

Yoosung: that's what you wsnted rigjyt? a friendly flirting? Like friendflirt. so u 2 can be besties!

Me: Yoosung, I already have her number, and she has mine. We literally live together. That's not gonna be helpful whatsoever in our case. I really wish this was just a normal coffee shop au...

Yoosung: Don't worry!!!!! !@ !@!@@!!! everything will go accordion to plan!

Me: accordion. lol

Yoosung: :(

Me: Yoosung,,.. I don't think you understand like you should. She makes me feel all... fwoom!

Yoosung: fwoom?

Me: yeah! like! swoosh!

Yoosung: I dont think i get it!;;

Me: gah!!! you're no help!

Yoosung: Trust me on this, MC! we got ur back!

Yoosung: Yoosung has left the chatroom.

I sighed at his last message. He really didn't need to text me that he "left" the "chatroom" when we're privately texting. He's something else alright.

I slumped further into my chair. I just wanted to sleep.

Jaehee came around the corner, holding a brand new cup of coffee. She set it down on my table, then sat across from me, waiting expectantly. I giggled at her cuteness.

I took a big swig of the coffee, forcing it all down my throat. It was dark and rich, and not really my thing. The bitterness of it made me shudder a little, but I drank it all for Jaehee. It was less disgusting than other coffees, but it still just wasn't my cup of tea. This was definitely not a cup of tea. I wish I had a cup of tea right now actually. Maybe sweet iced tea.

"Whoa, slow down please, MC. I wouldn't want you to choke, or burn your tongue. I am, however, very glad you like it. Thank you for sharing this time with me," she spoke quietly, her eyes focused on the ground. My face erupted, so hot you could fry an egg on it.

I couldn't let her know that the reason I'd gulped it down so fast was because I didn't want to taste it for too long.

"Mmmngh."

She smiled at that.

My face felt warm. My heart felt... warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Don't forget to subscribe so you'll know when future chapters are out! :D


	3. Ours

MC has entered the chatroom.

MC: What's up ahaaaaahaahahahahahhaahahfvbncsajdvhndbnd

707: oh no! mc?!!!?! what happened to the mission?! over!

707: did

707: you

707: h?

MC: h?

707: h!

Yoosung: h?

MC: h.

707: Mission h! ho w idid iy go!!!!!!!!!!

Yoosung: whoa! So excited

707: this is important, yooosung!!!! how did mission STEAL go

Zen has entered the chatroom.

Zen: D:

MC: not what it looks like!!!! ;;

707: ya we're just talking about MC STEALING something important from Jaehee!!! her heart!!!!!!

MC: so dramatic jgkfg,dgl

707: Ohoho!!! keysmash!!!!! keysmash of... love?!

Zen: ; )

707: not for you lol

Zen: ; (

707: sooo?

MC: nothing happened yet. and that's not what the mission is about! im not gay

707: hmm

MC: i juts wqnt to do my coffee plan is all!!!!! so we can be pals

Zen: Aren't you already friends?

Yoosung: she wants to be besties! i think it's sweet. But you're already so close to Jaehee! I think if she were a guy you'd basically be dating.

MC: H

707: h

707: h

707: h

707: what

707: a

707: stupid

707: thing

707: to

707: say!!!!!!!!!!!!

707: dont you know how fragile mc's heart is right now!!! >__<

MC: it is not.

Yoosung: why would her heart be fragile? im so sorry, mc! :(

MC: .

707: she's so heartbroken she cant even speak!!!! we must set her up with jaehee asap!!!

Yoosung: set up with?

707: MC is a gay, Yoosung.

Zen: like jumin?! 

Yoosung: what?!

MC: Seven! that's not funny

707: i speak the truth!!!

Yoosung: MC can't be gay, Seven. she's not a guy

MC has left the chatroom.

Well, I've had enough of that! Oh, Yoosung… And Seven. I'm gonna throttle him!

He was right though. Plan “h” needed to go on! Stealing Jaehee’s heart… It needed to happen! For both our sakes… I want to make Jaehee the happiest woman possible. I want to take care of her like she does to me. I want to be there for her and I want us to cherish one another. I want to be special to her, and I want to let her know how special she is to me.

But that's like.. Gay.

But I guess so am I! I guess the only thing I can do now is to play out the plan like Yoosung said… I need to write something cute on her coffee!!! And maybe shape the cream into a heart?! That would be super cute! Just like Jaehee… God, she's so cute. I just..

How is it possible for someone to be so perfect? When it's time to go to sleep, I find myself unable to drift off, and I can't get this big smile off my face. My cheeks start to hurt and I'm making squealing noises out of excitement. She makes me so happy. I'm so happy. 

I want to make her feel like that too. That would make me really happy. I'm really really in love with Jaehee Kang. 

I think the best way to go about that is to take it slow. Jaehee is a woman, and she's cautious and sensible. I don't feel like she's ever had time to date really, and her past dates probably weren't with girls. It makes me a bit jealous to think about her past dating life, but I shake off that unreasonable thought. I'd be the first to get this close to Jaehee. I'm not going to let a bit of inexperience ruin my chances! I have a chance and I'm going to take it!

My thoughts were interrupted as Jaehee walked through the cafe doors, carrying a pile of binders and papers.

This again?!

“Jaehee! Let me help you,” I said, rushing over to help her. “What's all this?” 

She smiled the largest I'd ever seen from her since the party when I became her partner. “I spent some time collecting data about which sweets and drinks are most popular at different times throughout the day, and which food items are not worth time investing in. There's a lot of good ideas out there! We can use the cream to make shapes in the drinks of customers, and spend some money on the presentation of it all. The taste isn't a problem as it is, but I hear that making the presentation beautiful really helps with reputation..” 

I smiled as she was trailing off about the thing she was so passionate about. “That's great, Jaehee! I'm really excited about all of this. I want to make cute animals in my drinks!” I put my hands up to my cheeks and shook my head from side to side a bit. I was really happy!

“I'm glad to hear that you are as excited as I am. Would you like to start looking at the dessert recipes I pulled out?” she spoke, twirling her short hair with her index finger.

“Yes! I want to make some really cute yummy ones. I want to make you some!” I smiled brightly, blushing at the idea of Jaehee eating my baking. I hoped that she would like it. I would put all my love into it!

“I'd love that too. I highlighted the ones I think would sell the best.” She smiled at me flipping through the binder. I was wide-eyed and I could feel the warmth of my cheeks. Everything felt right.

“D-do you want a coffee, Jaehee?” I said, tripping over my own words. A fool… I am… a fool…. Gah!!!

I looked at the coffee in her own hands. 

Oh god. Oh God! Mistake mistake! Abort mission! 

She looked at me with pink cheeks, but nodded. My face flushed and I looked like a fish. A gross fish. I was confused, because I'm pretty sure she's drinking a fine coffee right now, from before she even got here. I guess she didn't want to embarrass me any further. But the damage had already been done! I rushed hurriedly to make her one of her favorites. I was going to put all my effort into it! That would help.. 

 

-

 

Jaehee’s POV 

When MC asked if I wanted a coffee, I was a bit startled. She had asked the same of me just yesterday, and it was cute that she was making it a habit. It was a nice routine, even though it had just started. I felt already used to it. 

I stared into her eyes, and she looked away from mine, blushing. It was.. really cute how she did that all the time. I smiled. Her whole demeanor was really kind of adorable. I've never thought of a friend as being adorable before, but I do suppose I'm not used to having female friends. This was normal.

It was normal to want to feel the softness of another girl's skin. Female friends are just really close to each other. This must be how she feels as well. The thoughts did bother me, even with that reassurance from the back of my mind. Perhaps I would ask Zen for advice.. 

I nodded, still smiling. It felt like I was in a strange trance. I felt like I was watching the two of us from a third person's point of you, and it started to feel uncomfortable. My face was red and MC had already rushed out of her seat and behind the counter. 

I looked down at the coffee container in my hands. Ah. I see. 

I am a fool. 

My face flushed and I looked angrily at my hands that were holding the cursed coffee. My hands cupped the warm drink, fingernails digging into the styrofoam, signaling anger. I breathed a deep sigh. There was something wrong with me lately. I’ve been distracted.

I downed the coffee as quickly as I could without MC noticing, and threw it forcefully behind my back. There.

I guess this isn’t exactly.. Normal. 

I would definitely be speaking to Zen about this strange behavior as soon as possible. I pulled out my phone, open the RFA app, and sent a quick text to Zen that described how strangely anxious I’ve been feeling lately around MC.

I want it gone.

 

-

 

MC’s POV

 

“Ow!!!” I hissed and pulled my hand away, putting my finger in my mouth immediately. Who knew fresh coffee would be hot.. I carefully inspected the burn with a concerned expression. “Aww man,” I said, in response to the new pink mark that seemed to be apart of my finger now. Great… I sucked on it a bit more, hoping to somehow make the mark disappear. Healing saliva!!! Go!

I sighed and looked down at Jaehee’s drink. I kind of messed up the heart in the cup by shaking it when I had burned myself. It was all lopsided and gross. But I guess it was a little cute. At least you could tell it was even a heart. It was still cute… And I was still as determined as ever to give it Jaehee with a smile on my face! I hoped that it would give put a smile upon her face as well. 

Hmm… Something was missing..

I quickly scribbled my phone number in messy handwriting on the paper of the cup, adding a cute emoji of my face on the side. The tiny picture of me had her hands in two peace signs and her tongue was sticking out. I liked drawing cute things like that, and did it often. I often drew members of the RFA for fun. They were all tons of fun to draw! But I had more practice drawing women, so that’s why it was tons more fun to draw Jaehee. Or so I told myself.

I considered adding “ily” on the cup, but decided it was too much for now. But we’ll get there! I’m sure..

“J-jaehee!” I called out, in the way that someone in a coffee shop might do. It was kind of funny, but I was too nervous to laugh at the moment. My life was on the line here! 

I felt rude waiting for her to come up to the counter, so I jumped it and went to her instead. I didn’t have to jump over to get through, but one doesn’t think clearly when they are lovesick! 

“Your coffee, ma’am!” I nearly shouted. Jaehee looked a little taken back, and I hoped that I didn’t accidentally scare her in my sad attempt at wooing her.

I practically ran back behind the counter, ducking my head as I watched her read the paper. This was so exhausting…. Ah!!

Her breaths were quick and short, and her face a light pink. I saw a hint of confusion on her face, but a smile was present anyway. I can’t read if that was a good sign or a bad one. What do I do?! I watched breathlessly as she picked up her phone and frantically texted away to someone. I furrowed my brow, unable to contain my jealousy. Was she texting Zen? I felt a little hurt that she was texting him while we were supposed to be hanging out, even though I was hiding behind a counter.. Still!! It felt kind of sad.

But my fears were silenced when she smiled at the cup in her hands, taking in the warm smell. It gave her comfort, and I knew that she was happy to have it been made by me. It gave me warmth in my chest, and that spreads to my stomach and through my limbs. My cheeks were feeling it too. I was warm. No, I was burning! The butterflies in my stomach were flying around in a frenzy, creating a bunch of nausea for me. It would be really embarrassing if I was right there with her, but luckily, I had this cool counter to guard me from embarrassment.

Perhaps this was more embarrassing though. 

I finally gathered up the courage to walk by Jaehee’s table, leaning on the wall, like the cool nonchalant person I was. I’m so cool.

“‘Sup.”

“Oh, there you are, MC. Thank you for your cute message. I do not understand why you gave me your phone number when I already am able to text you, just as the other members of the RFA. But thank you, and thank you for your cute drawing, and for the cute square shape in my coffee.” She smiled politely, and I could see it reach her eyes, and they shined golden. They were so beautiful, and I wanted to plant a kiss on her soft cheeks, trailing my way to her lips, which I’m sure were equally soft.

“S-square! Yes! Because. That is what you are not!” I explained, trying to make it seem like I meant to add that into her drink. It was a heart!!! How could she not see that? 

She smirked a bit, and then giggled. Was she teasing me?

I was taken aback, but then giggled myself. I really really loved her.

We sat there, smiling and laughing at each other for a while as she drank her coffee.

“I’m really glad to share this place with you. I couldn’t imagine a better partner. Our cafe is really coming along.. I’m glad.” 

She stared down into her drink, hands folded, and a dreamy smile falling on her face. Our cafe.

Ours.. I could get used to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Starting now, I'm going to be updating every Friday evening. That way, there will be longer chapters every week, instead of a bunch of short ones! Thank you if you've continued reading this far! Commenting is always highly appreciated, as it's difficult to tell if anyone is still reading up to this point.. thank you!
> 
> my tumblr is wuvz.tumblr.com if you want to be mutuals there! :) thank u!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehee and MC share a bed together.

I woke with a feeling of dread, and my chest felt as if it were supporting the weight of three tall buildings all in one area. My breathing felt quick, and I didn't think I was getting enough air with every breath. Every breath seemed meaningless, and I was as in much need of air as i was before. Shallow and quick, they slowed down for no one, and the pain in my chest tightened, and it felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach. I felt bile rise in my throat, and rushed to the bathroom. 

What was happening to me? I'd felt this before, and the feelings associated with it seemed to be much stronger this time. I gagged above the toilet, several times, but nothing appeared. I felt disgusted. Wiping the saliva from my chin, I stood up, shaking and wobbling my way to the bedroom. 

Not my bedroom, as that was a scary place right now. It always was. It's not easy being alone when you're scared so easily. I felt panicked, like everyone was going to leave me. I wanted to make sure everyone could still be here for me. It felt like everyone had disappeared, and that almost nothing was real. 

I grabbed my phone. It was past two in the morning. I sighed. 

Nobody was in the chatroom at the moment, so I opted for crawling out of bed and searching for Jaehee instead.

“Jaeheeeeeeeee…. wake uuuuuppppp…..” 

“Mmnnhf.”

She rolled over, eyes closed, brow furrowed. Her eyes twitched, and then they opened. She blinked sleepily at me.

“MC? Are you alright?” 

“I had a bad dream,” I lied. The truth was more embarrassing. A random panic attack in the middle of the night was… something. It's never happened before now, and it was scary. I didn't know how to explain it. 

She smiled, a look of compassion on her face. She patted the spot next to her on her bed, and scooted over to make room.

I blushed, and climbed into the bed. It was soft, like Jaehee. Her hair, her skin, her voice. Everything. When I thought of her, I could taste the sweetness on my tongue. My head felt fuzzy and so did my chest. It was a good fuzzy. I wanted it to stay. It wasn't exactly comforting, but I found comfort in it. It was nice... to be in love. 

“Jaehee, I think there's something wrong with me,” I confessed. “I hate boys.”

She looked at me with wide eyes, a bit taken back. She laughed. “Me too,” she giggled.

I smiled. “No, really! In theory, in fiction, they're kinda hot. But then I try to picture myself with a real one, or have one hit on me, I feel my stomach drop and I feel like I'm gonna puke. It's just a gross feeling.” I looked away from her face as I explained.

She sighed, but not heavily. It was like she was holding a breath in and she was finally letting it free. 

“To be honest, MC, that's really why I never dated. It's true that I didn't have much time, but I never found men to be attractive in that way. I always latched onto… unobtainable men. Not very seriously, but I have had a few celebrities that I've taken a liking to. They're not obtainable, so I don't really feel the same pressure as I do with other men. I'm not going to date them. If I got the chance to date a celebrity, I think I'd feel the same feelings of disgust as I feel with other men in my life.” My heart kind of soared as she said that, but lurched a bit when I thought if she maybe felt something like that towards Zen, which hurt even though she just said all her celeb crushes were kinda fake. I shook that thought from my mind.

“Oh, wow.. I’m not personally a fan of celebrities. But… it’s embarrassing but… I get fictional crushes really easily! Like I can name soo many fictional guys I’d date, but no real-life ones! And honestly, I feel like if those fictional men were real, they’d seem a lot less appealing to me,” I confessed, sitting up and looking at her with an almost excited look on my face. I smiled down at her.

“I think we have something in common, MC.” She closed her eyes, seeming very at peace. She smiled, slightly pink in the cheeks.

I wanted to ask her so much more. I wanted to ask her if she ever imagined how nice it would be to touch the softness of another girl’s skin, to hold one close to her and take in her sweet scent. I wanted to confess that I thought about that a lot. I thought about girls a lot, about kissing one and cuddling with one all day, about marrying a girl I loved, and showing her everything I loved, to share that with the one I loved. The thought made me sick to my stomach, but in a different way than boys made me sick to my stomach. It was a good feeling, and it sent my head into a weird warm fuzz where it became hard to speak.

I wanted to kiss girls. I wanted to kiss Jaehee, and I wanted much more than that. The thought of just kissing another girl sent guilty feelings through me, but I knew it’s what would make me feel safest, it’s what would make me the happiest. I knew I needed that, but I still felt so guilty, even now as an adult I still feel guilty about this. It hurt, but I knew that eventually, with the right woman, I would feel at peace. We would enhance each other’s lives, and she would make me feel secure in my love for women, in my love for her. I would cherish her so much, and I can only wait for the day I meet someone who could feel that towards me. I wanted Jaehee to be that woman. I wanted all of this with her.

I stared at her, and she stared back. She looked away nervously a few times, and I’m assuming it’s because of how intensely I’m staring at her like a weirdo. She smiled back anyway.

I hummed a bit to myself, and then slumped back into the blankets, stretching my arms out. I felt relaxed.

I drifted off comfortably after that, feeling safe, even with that lovesick anxiety still crawling through me. My body felt warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I'M SO SORRY!!!! I had a bit of a depression thing so I'm sorry for not updating!!!!! There's a lot more to come, so don't worry! The chapter was very short, but I'm going to try to update more than once this week!   
> My new tumblr is @epv! Follow me there! <3


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